Monday, August 13, 2012

5 Signs That The Article You’re Reading May Not Be Written By A Geek

Let's give a nice [IGH] welcome to our newest guest contributor, LoudmouthLee!

My name is LoudmouthLee, and I am a nerd.

I am also a geek, but I’m pretty sure that nerd encompasses who I am more than anything else. I love trivia, I have an unquenchable desire to learn. I have odd hobbies, and I like to read… a lot.

I’m really proud of my offbeat sense of humor. I’m a teacher, and my students will tell you the same thing… Mr. D is WEIRD…. but we love him.

Back in the day, no one wanted to be called a nerd. It meant you were an outcast. You were picked on, bullied… It hurt. I vowed to myself that when I became a teacher, I would do everything in my power to make sure that the future geeks, nerds, goths, potheads, etc. all had a safe haven with me… And throughout my career so far, I’ve been successful.

The past few years have seen a boon to the geek subculture. All of a sudden, being labeled a geek was… well… awesome. Hot girls started wearing I <3  Geeks shirts. Even television began to embrace geeky characters.

The geeks embraced this to no end.

However, there’s something wrong… and we need to unite!

After being linked to and reading Jenn Hoffman’s column entitled “10 Signs She’s Not Really A Nerd," I stared blankly at the screen for a few moments. I began to have this pit in my stomach… and I think it’s time for someone to set these pseudo-geeks straight.

Jenn Hoffman has done her best, in one single post, to try to exclude people from the subculture. The geek subculture is predicated on acceptance. As a geek, or a nerd… most of us have felt excluded at one time or another… possibly ashamed of who we were.

Why would we go out of our way to do exactly what others have done to us forever?

With that, I give you this: 

5 Signs That The Article You’re Reading May Not Be Written By A Geek

If you aren’t expecting a sarcasm bomb… consider this your fair warning.

1) If the article excludes people from being a part of the club.

Face it, all of us are geeks, in some way, shape, or form. Some just hide it better than others. Some people neglect to embrace their geekiness in fear of rejection or backlash. We need for these people to feel more confident in who they are, not knock them down a few pegs, thereby pushing them to the side of a subculture that they are begging to be a part of.

2) If the article resorts to appearance in order to classify between real geek and fake geek.

I don’t need glasses. I still have me a nice pair of nerd glasses. I use them when I’m looking at the computer screen for a long time, or when I want to look smarter than I really am (AKA: Parent Teacher Conferences). Whether or not I actually have the glasses on doesn’t make me a nerd or not one. It just makes me come to the realization that, to this day, I am still completely clueless about fashion.

3) If the article uses “Ranch Dressing” as an appropriate test for anything…

You better not, EVER, sully the name of ranch dressing every again. I want me some cheese fries with bacon and ranch dressing. Yum.

4) If the article thinks that listing other geeks in your blog posts gives you credit.

Chris Hardwick is funny as hell. Seriously. He makes me laugh. Just because I’m namedropping doesn’t mean that you should take me any more seriously. Anyway, I prefer Alton Brown over all of the other nerds that Ms. Hoffman may have listed. I have met some pretty clueless nerds out there, except for their field. I have a few friends who are not book or science smart, but are ridiculously awesome bowlers. Some have amazing marble collections. Are they geeks/nerds? Sure. Don’t hate and don’t name drop. PS: I <3 Wil Wheaton! OMG

5) If the article finds a way to completely ostracize the writer’s own gender in an article.

The article referenced above does a very good job in pointing out the girls are stupid, fakers, and some don’t belong in the super-secret geek club. They fake their way to fit in, because they’re not fitting in anywhere else.

Oh wait. That sounds familiar.

I am the proud father of a 1 ½ year old daughter. I’m going to raise her to know that she can do ANYTHING that she wants to do. She can be ANYTHING she wants to be. Just not a porn star. Sorry. I have to draw the line somewhere.

The truth of the matter is, well… everyone has flaws. Everyone wants to be accepted. Please don’t tell me that you’ve never tried to be someone else just to impress someone. Bullpoop.

We’ve all been pushed down, spit at, and told we aren’t good enough. Now that we’re in the limelight, don’t you DARE go and be one of them. Ms. Hoffman, you’re the bully in this situation, and I think you owe the geek girls of this world an apology. You’ve done them a disservice.

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