Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Four Questions I want to send out into the Internet Void

As I sit here trying to write about a topic, any topic that would be mildly interesting, I find that I
have too many questions and not enough answers. I ask the Internet Void to answer me.....though I doubt I will get the answers I want.

1 - Why does Syfy make such crappy movies and such great TV shows?

You would think by now that they would be able to do both. If the right people are what it takes, you know that you have them. Just ask them to squeeze out a movie in between shows. Jane Espenson makes some of the best shows on Syfy, just hire her for one more movie. I guarantee you won't regret it.

2 - Why do they continue to destroy my childhood by remaking TV shows into crappy movies?

Yogi Bear is enough but hearing about the Thundercats movie is too much. Just leave them alone and my memories untarnished. Sometimes it is just for the best. If you mess with She-Ra, I will cut you.

3 - Why do they continue to (poorly) reboot movies that are considered classics?

You may think that this comes from the Buffy reboot, but the reboot that angered me the most is Yours, Mine and Ours from 1968. Classic movie that was destroyed in 2005 by a movie that was nothing like the original. They basically took most of the backstory and filled in the rest with stupidity. Just makes me :(

4 - When are Video Game companies just admit they are trying to recreate the holodeck from Star Trek?

C'mon the Wii, Playstation Move, and XBox Kinect are just precursors to Star Trek's holodeck. All of these engineers just need to admit they are fulfilling that fantasy. Yes, it's true they may also have a dark desire to really kill zombies or play in the NBA, but I choose to believe that this stems back to spending their childhood watching them hangout in the Enterprise holodeck.

Do you have any answers, oh Great Void? 'Cause all of these things kinda piss me off.


  1. My beliefs:

    1.Because it seems to me like Syfy loves their cheese factor. Like really, really loves the Velveeta on top of it’s great television programming. Plus they do get viewers to watch Giant Mosiquito Fly vs. Humongous Butterfly Triceratops.
    2.Because it seems like Hollywood is tired of new ideas. And they SHUNNN the non-comformer.
    3.See above.
    4.Because Star Trek is trademarked and the video game companies don’t want to pay to get it.

  2. 1. Syfy gets AMAZING ratings from those cheesy movies. Much better ratings then its tv shows.

    2. Hollywood is afraid of risk. It's safer to do a remake, even a bad one, then to do a new movie.

    3. I have no problem with rebooting. I think they just do it too soon. A new thundercats sounds cool, but a new buffy? Come on, its too soon!

    4. Nobody would pay them if they admitted it. They are just focusing on the actual achievable goals they can do right now.

  3. After talking to people who have actually worked on a SYFY Original I offer this amazing little tidbit: The people who make those movies don't always they're making crap. They are actually hoping to make the next epic Sci-Fi classic. When they fail miserably they have at least done so on a relatively low budget, at little risk to SYFY, and can still draw in huge ratings (as posted above). In my opinion if the people who make most of those things took themselves less seriously and had a little fun with their campy movie, we'd see a lot more tolerable originals (although there are a few gems in the dross). As for why they get those rating.... Maybe it's all stoned college kids who will watch anything at 3am, when only infomercials are the only alternative, or 1pm, when Judge Judy is the only alternative?

  4. Oh, and as for Thundercats: The New Movie, I hope it succeeds only becuase it could lead to my two ultimate fantasies: Live action Silverhawks and Tigersharks movies. Yes, I'm serious. I prefer my anthropomorphic heroes under the sea or over the clouds. And come on, a super-science swimming pool with crazy chemicals that make you grow gills and a dorsal fin? Show me the money!

  5. Rather than go to bed like a sensible person I just had to relive my childhood with this opening theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyukifAmPNo&feature=related. Notice anything familiar about the music and lyrics? And while we're on the "I was an indoor child who watched a lot of tv" nostalgia trip, check out this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Z1yLO9C-Q&feature=related. GI and Transformers, eat your hearts/Sparks out, M.A.S.K. had the best of both worlds! Plus an R2D2 clone with C3PO's personality that turned into a motorcycle. Awesomeness.

  6. I have decided to cave on the Syfy question. You all are right, they wouldn't keep making them unless they made $$$. I just love their shows so much, I wish they would take that genius and make a movie for me. Sharktopus just doesn't do it for me.

  7. @TheCBGuy - I hope it succeeds too but I am bracing for the worse. Hollywood has really dropped the ball, imo, on reboots. I really need something new that challenges my brains.

  8. That's my problem with the SyFy movies... they take themselves too damn seriously. I understand they want to create the next big thing but seriously, someone had to look at these scripts and realize just how ridiculous they are. I know they make tons of money on them but if they were more realistic about what they were working with, they'd be able to bring in more viewers because they'd be able to market it better.

  9. I sort of hope the Thundercats reboot is successful too, but more because I love them than wanting anything else to be remade into a movie. Though... if someone wanted to create a quality Voltron, I wouldn't object. :)